Dear Pastor,
I am 27 year old. Recently I have been having a vivid dream of myself as a little boy being forced to touch a man’s penis and do other things with him. There is also one dream where I was in the back of someone’s car with another boy. We had no clothes on and I was being made to touch the other boy. The adult was taking pictures the whole time. I am having these dreams incredibly often and it is unnerving me. Is there some way that I have blocked some form of child abuse from my mind, or did I just overhear something about rape on TV or from my parents? Could this have anything to do with why I am of a certain sexuality in my older years? Thank you so much for your help and reply.
Unnerved
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Hello Beloved,
I do not know the source of your recurring dreams/fantasies. I do, however, know that there is some form of repressed experience, whether actual events from children or repressed sexual fantasies as an adult.
I will encourage you to seek counseling to make sense of why those dreams are happening. If it is in fact painful childhood memories that you are blocking out, you will need to work through those with your counselor. It is good to confront & expose those deep seated hurt. You have to “squeal to heal”.
If you are trying to deny your sexual desires to be with the same sex, the quicker you come to terms with admitting to yourself that you like men, the easier it will be for you to negotiate that.
Wishing you all the best on your journey to wholeness and authenticity. Remember, #YouAreWorthy.
Damien Williams is a Minister & Bible Teacher at Ekklesia Bible Fellowship in Kingston, Jamaica. He is also an Educator, Life Coach and Human Rights & Justice Advocate. His day job is as a Field Operations Manager at Habitat for Humanity Jamaica. Damien is the author of Grab You Some Lemons: Make the Best out of Life’s Sour Moments available on Amazon. You can follow him @damienmwilliams (Twitter & Instagram). If you have an issue that you need advice on, send an e-mail to [email protected]
