by Ava Brown
March 22 2015 – We live in a world where many more men and women today will marry not for love, nor companionship, not even looks for that matter. Many people today marry for money. Have a quick look in the celebrity world around us, and I am certain there are few such cases we could cite, but perhaps even closer home than we think. As the singer Jessie J said “It’s all about the money money”.
I was provoked to talk about this topic as recently I was on a panel on TV here in the UK discussing the topic from a different angel, yet it provoked the question in my mind. It even questioned my own reasons to get married if I were to venture that road again.
While women are the ones who generally marry for money, more men are getting involved in the trade.
But if you would marry for money, my friends, you are not alone. A popular female survey yielded the astonishing result that one quarter of educated urban women, earning above a certain income, would marry for money.
Really? I was terribly shocked and I suppose really sheltered and naïve.
But when I examined it closer, people have been doing this from the beginning of time, so let’s not fool ourselves. Every woman wants a man to marry who can take care of her financially and shower her with many luxurious comforts and delights. Every girl loves to be whisked off to Paris, the romantic city of the world.
It was my intent to get column written by someone who had actually married for money, sadly while I KNOW A FEW, I couldn’t find anyone bold enough to admit they did it for money and I can’t blame them to an extent. Simply put they wouldn’t admit it on camera.
How often are you out for dinner, a stroll, or shopping and see the most drop dead gorgeous women, probably in their early 30s, long gorgeous legs, thick luscious hair to match those lips, and a cleavage that one just cannot ignore. Naturally you expect to see them with men their age group when you are knocked over in your stance to hear “honey” the voices of 70-plus year old men, drooling at their breasts, and kissing their hands.
Of course this game isn’t played just by women, men are equally guilty. While back in Jamaica last September promoting my book Bamboo & Fern, I decided I wanted a quiet night in my hotel after a hectic day. Dinner was served in the warm open Caribbean night sky and I was lapping up every bit of the ambiance when, I was distracted by a European looking woman who was no younger than 78 with a Caribbean looking man no older than 24. Naturally I took several glances as it was far too obvious he wasn’t with her for her beautiful skin or hair, but rather a visa or her “pepper” as the Africans call it here. By the way she was sporting a solid diamond rock that looked as though it needed to be insured.
But before we decide to judge these men and women for being shallow and gold-digging, how is marrying for money any different than marrying for looks or sexual abilities or other things?
I know a number of men and women who grew up in poverty and refuse to marry without financial stability. This frightens them into not wanting to marry broke partners, notwithstanding they care about, not love, their partners. With time the cash made them comfortable and offer stability which to them is more valuable than love. In some cases they look after their partners and became happy and committed in their state. So you could argue, their marrying for money was not about gold-digging, it was about survival.
I look at a few people around me who have been married for love and to be honest only a few seem to display some elements of happiness. Now I am not alluding to marrying for money but it seems sensible to have a balance of both. Personally, having had two love marriages that have failed, the next time I would think more carefully. I want respect, communication, compatibility love and comfort.
So I ask the question again “Would You Marry For Love Or Money……..?”
Ava brown is an Author, Speaker, Coach, Mother and Trainer. Send your questions to [email protected] with Ava’s Courtyard in the subject line.
