My man has a bad temper

Dear Pastor

I am living with a man who has an extremely bad temper. It takes nothing at all for him to go off. Just yesterday he came home and his dinner was on the table. He opened it and threw all of the food in my face and started to curse that I cut up the callaloo to fine. Hardly a week goes by without this man beating me and I feel one of these days and I am going to use a cutlass and chop him to pieces. I want to leave but I have nowhere to go and I know that no matter where I go he is going come and find me. Please pray for me so that I can get a visa and leave him for good.

Breaking Point

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Dear Breaking Point,

Let me hasten to tell you that you are not alone in your situation. There are countless women, all over the world, who feel TRAPPED in relationships like yours. So, get over the guilt or shame of being in an abusive relationship.

However, this is not a matter that requires my prayer, but YOUR action. You cannot allow fear of the unknown to keep you from making a decision that will save your life. Here are the fact of your situation: 

  1. Your man is abusive (physically, verbally and emotionally).
  2. You fear him (because you are worried about him finding you when you leave)
  3. He does not appreciate you or what you do for him (he complains about callaloo chopped to fine for Heaven’s sake).

Here is what you are guessing: 

“I know that no matter where I go he is going come and find me.” 

In fact, you do not know this. You are allowing a guess to stop you from taking charge of your life and leaving this man who is clearly in need of therapy. Getting a visa is not the solution. You need to decide to value yourself enough so that this and any other man won’t be allowed to treat you the way that you are being treated currently.

Between now and you getting your visa, he may just snap and you may not be the one to use the cutlass and if you are, then your freedom is not worth staying to allow it to happen. Use the law to protect you against this man. Get a restraining order against him and MOVE OUT NOW!

Damien Williams is a Minister & Bible Teacher at Ekklesia Bible Fellowship in Kingston, Jamaica. He is also an Educator, Life Coach and Human Rights & Justice Advocate. His day job is as a Field Operations Manager at Habitat for Humanity Jamaica. If you have an issue that you need advice on, send an e-mail to [email protected] or [email protected]  

2 thoughts on “My man has a bad temper

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