Dear Pastor
To be honest with you I am ashamed to come to you with this issue, but I don’t know where else to turn. I am 25 years old and my husband is 30. We got married less than six months ago but I am very worried that my husband is gay. Well at least some of the times. The reason why I say this is because we have normal sex and he seems to enjoy it very much, but he has been pressuring me to allow him to have anal sex with me. This is not how I was raised and is against the teachings of our church. I cannot understand why he would want to do this. I think this is going to destroy our marriage because I will NEVER allow him to have anal sex with me. Do you think my husband is gay?
Protecting my back
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Dear Protecting my back,
This may come as a shock to you, but gay men do not have a monopoly on anal sex.
The breakdown of many relationships is the inability or refusal to have open dialogue. The sexual activity between a husband and wife is one of mutual consent and satisfaction. You both have to have that necessary conversation.
I also recommend that before you have this conversation with him, you do a Google search and look up “anal sex in heterosexual relationships”. It may open up your mind a bit to the notion that this isn’t just a “gay practice”.
Finally, your marriage is YOURS! It does NOT belong to the church. GET THEM OUT OF YOUR BED!!! In fact, the Bible says that Marriage is honourable in all and the bed is undefiled!!!
Hoping to hear back from you how that Google search and conversation went. Remember #YouAreWorthy
Damien Williams is a Minister & Bible Teacher at Ekklesia Bible Fellowship in Kingston, Jamaica. He is also an Educator, Life Coach and Human Rights & Justice Advocate. His day job is as a Field Operations Manager at Habitat for Humanity Jamaica. If you have an issue that you need advice on, send an e-mail to [email protected]
